Minnie the Freak

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Minnie Goucher was a circus freak,
made a living seven days a week
Sitting pretty, letting people stare --
Minnie just laughed and didn't care.
Minnie weighed a quarter ton. As for lovers, she had none.
And she never expected one -- till she met Jojo, the carny bum.

Minnie was sitting in her tent one night,
playing poker with Bob the Fright
No-legs Johnny and Hairy Sue;
and Jojo he watched for a round or two.
They sang and laughed and joked as they played
About the weather and the trains delayed
Good, close buddies as you'd ever see --
but Jojo watched Minnie wickedly.

Of all the sideshow, Minnie was the star --
was thanks to her the circus got so far
She got a big percentage of the take,
and thinking of that kept Jojo awake.
He dealt himself in for a hand,
sweet-talked Minnie to beat the band
Sue got mad, Bob began to cough --
they knew damn well what was coming off.

He worked on Minnie for three weeks or four
    -- she'd never run into romance before
It bowled her over like a ton of lead
    -- she started giving Jojo all of her bread.
Johnny warned her, Bob did too.
She got a lecture from Hairy Sue.
But Minnie said, "It's my only chance
to find why they sing about romance."

So then they told her, "Look, we wish you well.
This might work out--only time can tell
We don't know anything of love, it's true
       -- we only know like, and we like you.
But this we've learned just living here
as ugly outcasts year on year
Good, brave hearts and minds remain
when beauty and grace goes down the drain."

Cut back to Jojo singing "Love is Blind",
     not telling Minnie all that's on his mind
He said they'd marry in the early fall,
asked for some cash, and took it all.
Minnie awoke alone and sad,
she thought it out and said, "I won't get mad,
Hell, it was fun, and worth the price...
but only a fool would do it twice."

A few months after Jojo ran away,
he died of smack OD somewhere in LA
Minnie laughed when she heard the news,
And said to her friends, "Let's sing some blues:
Like, 'Love is a cheat, love is a lie,
  build up your hopes just to watch 'em die
Now here's the truth by the bucketful:
There's sex and there's friendship, the rest is bull.'"

(c) Leslie Fish and Random Factors