Immortality Stomp

Return to Leslie Fish's Filksongs

    I mean to live forever if I can
    By any trick of nature or of man
    There's so much I haven't done,
      haven't tried or seen or won,
    That I mean to live forever if I can.

I take my mega-vitamins by handfuls every day
Plus BHT, selenium, and much PABA
I gobble B and C so much they show up on my breath
And any bug that chews on me will die an awful death!

I eat high protein diets and I work out at the Y
I only swing with Mary Jane when I go out to fly
I sometimes nibble candy, smoke, and booze a bit it's true
But moderation in all things means moderation too.

I practice basic judo plus techniques diverse and strange
I hold my own at fencing skills and on the shooting range
I always keep a weapon near wherever I may be
But somehow muggers never seem to want to pick on me!

I've learned to swim and ride a horse and paddle a canoe
I'm not quite a survivalist but close enough will do
I get my checkups every year no matter what I pay
I won't begrudge the cost if I outlive the AMA.

I always fasten seatbelts and I drive as if I feel
That every other vehicle's a killer at the wheel
And if I have to fly at all when I go out of town
I buy so much insurance that the plane won't dare go down!

I practice hard at bedroom sports and hope I always will
For half of my endurance I suspect I owe the pill
So is it worth the effort, all this blood and sweat and tears
Well I hope to have the answer in another hundred years!

(c) 1984 Leslie Fish, Random Factors